Journaling

My daughter and I have a journal that we write back and forth in to each other about various topics. It started when she was about 4, so the early pages have big, slanted sentences like, “I love you Mommy”, “Thanks for the new socks”, and “You’re the best”. Knowing how important communication is, I wanted to have several opportunities for us to be able to connect, as well as the goal of fostering a love of writing and the ability to express herself in written form. I have found that just like adults, sometimes it feels safer for a kid to write down questions or feelings rather than talk about them first. Sometimes we have an exchange in the journal that starts on the surface and then goes to a place where it’s time to talk. Then we’ll have great conversations in the quiet of her bedroom about an issue that she has been sorting out in her head for awhile.

I think she’s learned a lot about processing her thoughts. Sometimes you can journal your way through an issue – how are you feeling, are you over-reacting? Is the solution within the words you are writing? She’s learned that self-reflection and prayer can provide clarity and direction in a way much different than verbal conversations.

Caroline is a talker anyway, so much so that now we sometimes use the journal in a “write that down in our journal and we’ll talk about it later” kind of way, but my friend’s daughter is more quiet and keeps things inside – how she’s feeling, what she’s thinking, and what may be bothering her. When my friend heard about the journal Caroline and I have, she became very excited and started one for the two of them. She tells me it absolutely changed their relationship. There was a level of trust within the writing and her daughter was able to express herself in written form in a way that really opened up their communication.

At 10, Caroline now has several journals in a variety of sizes, designs, colors. She has a chronological diary of events, a dream journal where she writes prayers and ways she hears God speaking to her and through others, and other random ones where she writes story ideas and song verses. We still also have “our journal” that we get out and have written conversations about our lives.

I love that Caroline and I can continue sharing our love of writing and that we’ll always have those early years recorded in her own handwriting – even if it only says, “Thanks for the new socks!”