3 Ways To Be Intentional

I've written before about my desire to be an intentional parent - to think more and react less. I recently heard a speaker talk about his "Whac-a-Mole" style of parenting and how he challenged himself to really slow down and think through their family's vision and mission rather than reacting to each issue when it came up. Here are 3 quick tips on being an intentional parent by Jim Mason, President and CEO of Beech Acres Parenting Center.

1. Understand how your childhood affects your parenting today. 
Jim talked about sitting down with your spouse and calling out what you appreciate about the way you were raised and would like to keep as part of your parenting philosophy as well as those things that you don't want to carry over to the next generation. This isn't a deep dive (although that's healthy as well) but more of a broad look at things like: I appreciate how my parents raised us to have polite manners, or I want to avoid using external motivation and rewards.

2. Have a vision for yourself as a parent. 
Jim walked us through a thought provoking exercise where our imagined grown children were making a speech and telling the audience how he/she appreciated their mom for always teaching them these three things....  He had us fill in those three things and then give examples of how we're teaching that to our kids. I agree whole heartedly with him that the best way to change your kid is to change yourself.

3. Have a vision for your child as an adult and act today in a manner that reflects the future. 
A group of friends and I recently sat down and made a list of what we hoped for our kids in their adult years and then challenged ourselves on how we were specifically teaching and modeling those things. Proactive and intentional - with some accountability built in.

I find that when I'm thinking about being intentional I'm more calm, thoughtful, and yes - a better parent. Thanks Jim, for the reminder that parenting takes thought and planning and when we find ourselves playing "Whac-a-Mole" it usually means we need to take a step back and take some time to think rather than do.