a little about this blog...

I've found myself in the place of having kids just a few years older than some of my friends and seem to get phone calls and emails asking questions about various parenting topics. Not that I am wiser than anyone else on this parenting journey - the funny stories of disastrous results and embarrassing moments are usually the ones that result in the most learning. I love to learn about how all kids think, wonder at how they are created, and am passionate about seeing them develop into their full potential - creatively, emotionally, and spiritually.

This blog contains thoughts about the parenting journey from my own experiences or about things I've learned from those around me. Thanks to my friend Alli for getting me started and to Susan, Nicole, Teresa, Kristi, Beth, and Victoria for being on the journey with me...


Friday, April 29, 2011

Put Yourself in Her Shoes

Our three kids were recently playing together in the basement building forts when I heard an argument begin. Up the stairs came Caroline (11) who had apparently decided to take her fort and go home. The boys were soon at the kitchen table describing how "all they had said was"...."she didn't even say what was wrong"...."geez, girls are so sensitive..."

This led into a discussion where I asked them to think about how it might feel to be the only boy in the family, how it might be different to have two sisters in the house and always have to join in their play.  Not only does our daughter have two brothers, but my sister's family lives close by and the kids are all like siblings. Their family? Three boys. Typically, Caroline holds her own in the group of 5 boys, but at times I'm sure it gets frustrating. We talked a lot that day about seeing things from someone else's perspective and  what it meant to "put yourself in someone else's shoes".  I then left the boys alone and asked them to do what they thought might be good in this situation. This is how it works with kids - some days they may have listened to me while rolling their eyes and after shrugging and smirking at each other, headed back downstairs to play. Sometimes they surprise you. And make you laugh.

After a few minutes, I heard heavy footsteps up the stairs followed by my daughter's laughter. I went up to find the boys prancing around in their sister's shoes, telling her they were sorry for how they treated her and were trying to understand how it felt to "be in her shoes".

Of course Caroline found it funny and appreciated the effort of the point being made. It made me think about how often we forget to think of things from another person's perspective and what else might be going on in a situation. A good reminder to get outside of ourselves and see the world a little differently from time to time. 

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