Family Time

Community is an important part of what makes our family who we are. Darrin and I believe that God wires us for community, and we live in such a way that friendship and extended family play an active role in our lives. We give those relationships priority and focus. We get together regularly with other families and plan weekend trips together with all of our kids. Our house has an open front door that many people use regularly and we like it that way. We’re also both very close to our families and vacation with both sides each year. There are bonds that are strengthened and deepened with every trip.

We wouldn’t trade any of these relationships for anything and feel there are immeasurable ways both we and our children benefit, but as the kids began to get older and busier, we realized we needed to create some protective boundaries around our family time  - those times spent together with just the five of us. We are intentional about camping trips or other weekends away that just involve us, but we wanted to set up something consistent and lasting that would build into our family priorities of quality time together.

One night a week is “Family Night” at our house. No school or sports activities, phone calls, email, visitors, or other distractions...

We have a rotating schedule allowing one person each week to choose the dinner menu and family activity. We have to be flexible (it’s been Tuesdays this year until baseball season started and have now switched to Mondays), but we have to be commited (we’ve had to turn down a few things we otherwise would have done). Board games, going on a bike ride, putting on a play, baking, and playing football are a few of the activities that have been chosen this year. One week when it was Caroline’s turn, she wanted us to all bring books and blankets into the family room and read together. There were a few whines and groans (mostly from my husband who I think may have dozed off) but it was such a relaxing and enjoyable evening for everyone. Another memorable one was when Eric set up “stations” in the backyard for us to complete together – made up of random left over outside toys found abandoned in the corner of the garage.  It’s nothing spectacular or grand. Nothing requires detailed planning. It’s a game of basketball in the driveway or playing charades on the back deck. Sometimes it’s not even successful (paper mache night was not my favorite). It’s the regular, consistent expectation that makes it special and we hope will set a precedent for how important we feel it is to stay connected.  We know the activities will change as the years go by and we'll likely get eye rolling instead of cheers when it’s their turn, but we like establishing a consistent, expected pattern that will hopefully grow and strengthen our own immediate family.

As we move through the stages and phases of being young parents,  we’ve realized that as much as we enjoy and cherish our friendships, our community around us is only as healthy and thriving as the core one we grow from the beginning.