Top Ten Games

We are definitely a game family. I would be embarrassed to admit how many board games we actually own - and we also enjoy making up our own from time to time (see earlier Road Rally post). Games are just such an easy way to bring everyone together for some uninterrupted family time and can guarantee laughs, cooperation, and serious competition! Since Christmas shopping is in full swing and because I found myself recommending a couple games to a friend the other day, I thought I would post the Top Ten Games in the Rakestraw household (at least for right now).

1. Anything by THINKFUN
Marketed as "addictively fun games that stretch and sharpen your mind",  this game company has won several awards for advancing learning through play. Brainteasers, logic puzzles, and creative thinking drive this innovative thinking company and are just some of their super fun products. Check them out!

2.   FUNGLISH
Clue givers have to use word cards to describe things for the guessers. You have helpful categories like "definitely", "sometimes", and "definitely not". Fun for both kids and grown ups and can be modified so non-readers can be guessers only. Emphasizes team work (which we always like) and provides laughs and vocabulary building.

 3.  CUPONK
This is one of those games you walk by in the store because you can't imagine paying $10 for a plastic cup, 2 ping pong balls, and some cards. It really is worth it. The cards describe specific tricks you must complete and how many tries you get to do it. It can be played with any number of people and is fun for little and big kids. A very popular activity at our house right now.

4. HEDBANZ
This game comes with 6 plastic headbands and simple object cards. Like the old card game, you wear a card on your headband and ask yes or no questions about what you are to try and make a guess. Everyone from our 4 year old nephew to the oldest adult loves this simple game.

5. SHAPES UP
Combining strategy and tangrams, this geometric puzzle like game is great for logical thinkers. Blockus and Rumis are similar games that are also fun.

6. MAGNETIC MOSAICS
This is a simple art activity I found in a magazine that has provided hours of calm, cooperative creating. Kids can match colors using small foam blocks to create pictures or create their own mosaic design.

7. DISNEY APPLES TO APPLES
If you enjoy Apples to Apples, this is a great version for kids - especially younger ones - as pictures are included on the cards. It stretches their minds to make comparisons and allows them the opportunity to speak thoughtfully about their reasoning.

8. IMAGINIFF
This game involves deciding who is most like a kitten or an old tennis shoe and why. Or if Dad could be a professional athlete, what would he be? Fun with your family and also a fantastic slumber party game - especially when 6th grade boys' names are written in as categories...


9. SPLIT SECOND
This is an old Parker Brothers game my husband and I revived with our kids. It's basically quick answer trivia questions, but closest/fastest wins. The kids love the quick release plastic arms that you have to flip once you write your answer down with dry erase marker. Also thrown in are random personal questions that always make for family fun.


10.  THE NAME GAME
This is a made up game - not sure of the original creator - but my sister and her theater friends played it in college. It's so much fun that we play it in every setting: couples game night, family time, girls weekend, Christmas extended family....Basically, everyone writes down 10 names (we play anything goes - famous people, cartoon character, even people you know) The only rule is that at least 3 people need to know this person. Put all names in a bowl, divide into two teams, and complete 3 rounds of play. A round is complete when every name has been guessed correctly. Round 1: describe using any words except the name. Round 2: say only one word. Round 3: no words allowed (charades). Points are given for each correct guess. This game is active and hilarious!

*I know this is more than ten - but I can't post this without mentioning those great card games you can throw in your bag for long car rides or waiting for a table at a restaurant. Some of our favorites are: Cranium Zigity Tin, Blink Card Game The World's Fastest Game, There's A Moose In The House, and Zeus on the Loose.

I'd love to hear of any other great game recommendations - we look forward to adding to our collection! Enjoy many evenings by the fireplace this winter!

Life Long Learning

Step into any classroom and you'll see evidence of several different types of learning going on there.  Learning styles simply describe how people perceive and process information in different ways.  Dr. Maria Montessori, an educational revolutionary, began using multiple approaches to instruction to cater to individual learning styles in the 1940's. The study of learning styles continues to evolve as more is discovered. There are three basic types of learning: auditory, visual, and kinesthetic and people are usually dominant in one style over the others. Kids in particular can benefit by knowing how they best acquire and master information. 

A Bug & A Wish

Anyone who has more than one child knows that teaching kids how to speak their feelings in a constructive way is crucial to healthy sibling relationships. In my work with young girls, we talk a lot about speaking feelings, communicating needs, and validating how the other person feels.

My sister is a great "boy mom" (she has three sweet testosterone filled cuties). One of my favorite rules she had to make about their household bathroom was, "Only one person can use the toilet at a time". Use your imagination and keep in mind that one of the boys was already sitting down.

Susan found a method around communicating your needs that was "little boy accessible" called "A Bug and a Wish". Here's how it works.  Say a kid is bothered by something their sibling (or friend) is doing and wants them to stop. Teaching kids to ask the person to stop the behavior is a first step, but this method encourages them to also talk about their feelings and express their needs (not always easy and natural for boys). The child might say, "It BUGs me when you take my Star Wars guys and leave them in strange places and I WISH you would ask me first if it's okay to play with them." The other person is required to acknowledge that they've heard the Bug and a Wish and respond appropriately. My sister admits that it took some training. Moving from "It BUGs me that you're stupid and I WISH you'd go away" to more acceptable statements and requests took some re-direction, positive reinforcement and just plain patience. Once the process is established, the ease of calling out a "Hey - do the Bug and a Wish!" reminder helps impending arguments to lose traction. Most boys fall into the "the fewer words the better" camp and respond well to clear, concise verbal reminders.

Of course this is not limited to boys - it also works with girls and can even help kids verbalize their needs to their parents. Actually when you think about it, this really applies to friendships, marriages, and other family relationships that thrive on honest, current, and clear communication.

So keep in mind that if you begin using this method and one day hear, "It BUGS me when you text on your cell phone while we're playing together and I WISH you would just put your phone away",  your little one just might be growing in healthy relationship skills.

My sister Susan and her boys

Languages of Love

There’s a well known book by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages that gives great insight into how people uniquely give and receive love. It’s eye opening to learn about how you and your spouse may differ in your needs and expressions of feelings and can provide great conversations leading to growth in your relationship. There's a version of this book specifically about children and after reading it with some friends, we all discovered a little more about our kids and how best to love them in their own languages...

Doing Life Together

After a recent conversation with a friend who was struggling with feeling isolated, I was reminded again about the intentionality it takes to be part of a real community. She's taking the step to look for ways to connect and it is a big challenge for her. I was so impressed by that and realized that for some people, it's just a natural part of the way they live. For others, it's a steep hill to climb that seems overwhelming and maybe not even worth it. There are all types of communities in our lives and benefits to each, but I believe that having other parents as friends and resources is a huge factor in our day to day journey.


A community isn't working out at a gym and seeing the same people on MWF mornings or colleagues you talk to in meetings on a regular basis. The other mom who helps you plan the classroom party may not count either.   If everyone you encounter knows you to about the same level, then you probably aren't connecting deeply enough to really call it a community. I'm talking about people who know you (the real you), can challenge you by speaking truth and build you up with encouragement. It's hard enough being a parent - doing it in isolation is so much harder...

Football Fever

My husband loves to find fun things to do with the kids that create memorable experiences. Our boys are almost 7 and 9 this year and pretty into playing ball. There’s usually not a day that goes by that they’re not outside with Dad playing catch of some kind, depending on the sports season. With Bengals season just around the corner, Darrin decided to take the boys to Georgetown for the Bengals training camp experience. An hour and a half from Cincinnati, the admission is free and you are just required to pay $15 per car for parking.

The guys were able to watch the Bengals players being run through a practice and then go to an autograph tent afterwards. They enjoyed discussing the specific plays and drills being done on the field and unlike a regular game at Paul Brown Stadium, they were able to get pretty close to the players. They even talked with my former college gymnastics strength and conditioning coach that is now on staff with Cincinnati football - which scored me some “cool points” since I don’t always follow their very detailed sports conversations.

Camp is usually held each year at the beginning of August – if you have football fans in your house you should definitely check it out!

Strength & Weakness

I believe that we are intentionally and intricately designed. That our given strengths and gifts can also play into our weaknesses – simply because we are human. In learning about myself and how I am created, I continue to uncover areas of vulnerability that I need to develop and strengthen as I grow. Guiding kids along this self-discovery can help them figure out a little more about who they are designed to be.

A certain strength has related weakness. For example, a child who is naturally compassionate has the strength of instinctively caring about others and being concerned for their well being but may struggle with making their own choices and could find themselves being persuaded to do things because they want people to be happy. Or a child with leadership gifts has the strength of being so visionary and motivated that he sometimes forgets to consider the feelings or opinions of others. Understanding this relationship allows us to celebrate our strengths and challenge our weaknesses. The very things that drive us crazy about our kids are really just undeveloped characteristics of their strengths. Our kids are who they are and it’s our job to help them discover and guide them in their journey of growth, however I was recently reminded that this discovery and guidance is not just up to us...

Road Rally Fun

 My sisters and I grew up in a family with parents who frequently planned activities for their friends that were just about fun. They had a close community of family friends that lasts to this day so it’s only natural that we’ve adopted a similar lifestyle and love to host events where the purpose is just enjoyment. One of my parents' made up events was something they called a Road Rally. This weekend we, along with my sister’s family, hosted our own first annual Rakestraw/Jung Road Rally. 

Similar to The Amazing Race, we created a course through Cincinnati that included 10 road blocks. Ten pages of rhyming clues led them through the race, finishing at a park shelter where we had a big family party. Cars were sent off 4 minutes apart from the starting line and scored according to time, mileage, and the completion of checkpoints. We wanted this to be a family event so clues included everything from 90’s movie references to Webkinz characters and sports and history trivia. Parents needed their kids and kids needed their parents...

Family With a Purpose

Years ago, Darrin and I were a young couple just starting out and were hoping to have a family sometime in the near future. One summer we were touring a house and noticed a frame on a stairway wall containing a “family mission statement”. It was beautiful language around what made their family unique and we agreed that it was something we’d like to incorporate into our future family. We sort of forgot about it once the kids actually started arriving when things like laundry, sleep, and basic survival took over.

It wasn't until I recently read a book by Patrick  Lencioni, the well known author  of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, that I was reminded about the family mission statement idea...

Sibling Love

This post is for my friend, Alli, who helped me start this blog. Alli has three adorable children ages 4 and under. We’ve been there (our oldest’s 4^th birthday was days after our third child’s birth) and while the first few years were physically challenging (I still appreciate and am grateful for a good night’s sleep and still value the day when I realized everyone could put on their own coat and tie their own shoes - wait, we can just walk out the door…now??) the present days are giving me glimpses of that unique bond siblings have when growing up very close together and realize just how special it is. Yes they still drive each other crazy and sometimes for their own safety need to be separated, but there are moments that definitely make those sleepless nights feel very far away and make me so thankful for a house full of chaos...

Failure IS an option

Everyone I know wants their kids to do well in school and have a successful experience. We want the best for our kids and aspire to teach them to be responsible, independent, productive students. We all know the cliches about "learning more from failure than success" and the stories of people like Michael Jordan being cut from his high school basketball team, but when it comes down to it we continue to rescue our kids and rob them of the daily lessons that teach them the very essence of responsibility, independence, and productivity. 

 When I taught middle schoolers, I could easily recognize those students who had been "rescued" throughout their elementary school years...

Family Time

Community is an important part of what makes our family who we are. Darrin and I believe that God wires us for community, and we live in such a way that friendship and extended family play an active role in our lives. We give those relationships priority and focus. We get together regularly with other families and plan weekend trips together with all of our kids. Our house has an open front door that many people use regularly and we like it that way. We’re also both very close to our families and vacation with both sides each year. There are bonds that are strengthened and deepened with every trip.

We wouldn’t trade any of these relationships for anything and feel there are immeasurable ways both we and our children benefit, but as the kids began to get older and busier, we realized we needed to create some protective boundaries around our family time  - those times spent together with just the five of us. We are intentional about camping trips or other weekends away that just involve us, but we wanted to set up something consistent and lasting that would build into our family priorities of quality time together.

One night a week is “Family Night” at our house. No school or sports activities, phone calls, email, visitors, or other distractions...

Destination Imagination

As a long time supporter of Destination Imagination and a former teacher, I am passionate about this program that includes, but goes beyond, the academic standards to train future leaders in such areas as teamwork, problem solving, and creative thinking. I fully support our schools working to improve test scores and raising curriculum standards, but years from now when our kids are making a difference in the world, these creative problem solving abilities and decision making experiences will matter just as much, if not more than, their SAT scores. I believe that whatever the field, most of us find ourselves working on a team that has an objective, a deadline, a budget, and a direction, and the job is to work together to solve the presented problem. That’s what these kids are learning...

Throwing Punches

Huge disasters resulting from desperate attempts to teach my children something of value always seem to provide a lesson for me instead.

My mom was a great mom. I mean great. I grew up in a house with 2 sisters and a special needs brother. She rarely yelled and always seemed to know what to do in a situation – guiding us and teaching us life lessons at the same time. There are often times in my daily parenting when I find myself asking, "What would Mom do?"

All kids go through the stage of arguing with their siblings. I actually believe it is invaluable experience in conflict resolution in a safe environment. But anyone who has kids old enough to argue know what I mean when I admit that this is the one of the things that make you want to throw things. Maybe at them. I remember one afternoon...

Scavenger Hunts

Scavenger hunts have been on my mind lately, probably the warm weather and the ability to go outside and run around – yeah spring! We had fun last week with a couple at the zoo and the nature center.

We drew 16 squares on a piece of construction paper and I wrote things to find on each kid’s appropriate to their age. At the zoo, Eric (6) had to find things like a mammal and an animal with a long tail, while Caroline (10) had to find things like an omnivore and an animal indigenous to South America. We laminated them to protect them from drops, tears, and spills...

Summer Book Clubs

A few years ago, my friend Teresa and I decided to hold a book club for our daughters and their friends. We wanted to keep them reading over the summer and thought it would also be a fun way to keep the girls connected through the off school months. That first summer we read a great book called "Trouble Don't Last" about a runaway slave. We met once a week for 6 weeks...

Find a mentor, be an encourager...

I've found that no matter where you are on the parenting journey, it's so helpful to have a mentor who is just a stage or two ahead of you. Years ago during the stage where we had three kids under four, I remember one particularly rough morning when I had exhausted my resources of books, games, puzzles, and snacks....all before 10 am. I secured the kids in their various containment devices (bouncy seat, exersaucer, and watching Clifford) and stepped out on the porch for a couple deep breaths of fresh air and a little perspective. Feeling a little better, I went back inside and we continued our day...

Just for the Joy of the Experience

While visiting Darrin’s family in Illinois this winter, we took the kids on their first ice skating adventure. While we’ve roller skated together, none of the kids had ever tried ice skating and found the indoor rink experience to be both exciting and hard work.

Caroline, 10, took advantage of the aid to help acclimate beginners to the motion of skating (which was very cool by the way – it was like a sliding walker) and took to the ice with her cousins, gradually giving up the tool and holding hands with her pals. She was a little nervous about falling and found the ice surface to be unforgiving and sometimes painful. She kept a good attitude though and had just as much fun hanging out and drinking hot chocolate with her buddies as she did on the ice.

Eric, 6, was determined to “do it myself” and declined the aid, working very hard to figure it out and accomplishing his goal of skating around the rink without help from mom, dad, or anyone else near him. There were tense moments of frustration but he stayed the course and persevered.

Adam, 8 , was the most fun to watch. Sheer abandonment of expectations, what people thought, or accomplishing anything, Adam threw himself (sometimes literally) into the ice skating experience. He had so much fun...

Journaling

My daughter and I have a journal that we write back and forth in to each other about various topics. It started when she was about 4, so the early pages have big, slanted sentences like, “I love you Mommy”, “Thanks for the new socks”, and “You’re the best”. Knowing how important communication is, I wanted to have several opportunities for us to be able to connect, as well as the goal of fostering a love of writing and the ability to express herself in written form. I have found that just like adults, sometimes it feels safer for a kid to write down questions or feelings rather than talk about them first. Sometimes we have an exchange in the journal that starts on the surface and then goes to a place where it’s time to talk. Then we’ll have great conversations in the quiet of her bedroom about an issue that she has been sorting out in her head for awhile.

I think she’s learned a lot about processing her thoughts. Sometimes you can journal your way through an issue – how are you feeling, are you over-reacting? Is the solution within the words you are writing? She’s learned that self-reflection and prayer can provide clarity and direction in a way much different than verbal conversations.

Caroline is a talker anyway, so much so that now we sometimes use the journal in a “write that down in our journal and we’ll talk about it later” kind of way, but my friend’s daughter is more quiet and keeps things inside – how she’s feeling, what she’s thinking, and what may be bothering her. When my friend heard about the journal Caroline and I have, she became very excited and started one for the two of them. She tells me it absolutely changed their relationship. There was a level of trust within the writing and her daughter was able to express herself in written form in a way that really opened up their communication.

At 10, Caroline now has several journals in a variety of sizes, designs, colors. She has a chronological diary of events, a dream journal where she writes prayers and ways she hears God speaking to her and through others, and other random ones where she writes story ideas and song verses. We still also have “our journal” that we get out and have written conversations about our lives.

I love that Caroline and I can continue sharing our love of writing and that we’ll always have those early years recorded in her own handwriting – even if it only says, “Thanks for the new socks!”